Condemn Misogynist Bullying

 

If we diffuse the judgment, and look at the behaviour of the attacker, we can weaken the attack. We need less focus on “the mistake” and more on the sexism in our society that this man wielded—successfully—to rid the planet of another young woman.

 

 

What does the suicide of 15 year-old Amanda Todd have to do with the shooting of 14 year-old Malala Yousufzai by the Taliban?

 

In both case, dominant males were attempting to oppress and control a young woman.  It's an age-old story not or religion or gender superiority, but of masculine laziness - control by force, because equality is just too much effort.  The history of civilization is the move away from misogyny with prosperity growing and violence retreating as women gain greater roles in society.  Every now and then, though, we're reminded of just how much further we still have to go.

I Was Bullied In School While My Classmates and Teachers Watched In Silence (by Carly Weeks)

Bravo, Carly Weeks.  Bullying is rampant in our schools, our homes and places of work.  It's not a problem that someone else can solve - it belongs to all of us.  Everyone must look at the demons within themselves and pledge to consciously do better.  That's the only way to end this.

 

 

The girl was tormented relentlessly by her classmates. Verbally and mentally abused for months, she was humiliated and traumatized, some mornings pleading with her parents not to have to go to school for another round of abuse. In some of the darkest moments, her self worth had been eroded to such a point she thought she didn’t deserve to live at all.

 

Amanda Todd was one of those kids. The 15-year-old girl took her life last week after months of vicious attacks and assaults at the hands of her peers. Except this story isn’t about Amanda Todd.

This story took place in 1993. And that young girl was me.

 

Over the course of several years, starting at the age of 12, I was bullied by my classmates. They threw things at me, verbally abused me and harassed me by phone.

 

They called me “Rat.” They would yell it at me every time they saw me and made up songs about it.

When I was feeling lonely and tried walking up to a group of classmates during recess, they would count to three and run in different directions. Eventually, I hid in a bathroom stall during any breaks, pinching my cheeks when the bell rang to make it look like I had been outside. Until they caught on to me, and came into the bathroom to taunt me.

 

Bullying permeated every aspect of my life. It didn’t matter that I had a family that loved me and told me not to pay attention. Being rejected by an entire peer group at an age when making friends is so important was one of the hardest things I’ve ever endured. Their hurtful, hateful words were unbearable. I suffered extreme anxiety, panic and uncontrollable shaking over a months-long period when I should have been worried about studying for my math or science tests. Eventually, I started to believe what they were telling me: that I was worthless, that I would never have any friends, that my existence was useless. After my parents waged a battle at the school board level, I was allowed to change schools, which helped, for a time.

 

Sadly, this is not a unique story. Thousands of Canadian children and adolescents are pushed to the brink every year as a result of bullying and a culture that too often refuses to recognize the extent of the problem until it is too late.

 

Across the country, people are asking how such a horrific incident could unfold and are trying to make sense of how an entirely unnecessary, preventable situation reached such tragic proportions.

Resist the temptation to rationalize her death as an extraordinary event or anomaly perpetrated by singularly monstrous individuals who have nothing in common with our own sons and daughters. Don’t explain her death as the result of social media, lack of awareness, mental illness, family problems or her own social mistakes, explanations that are all too often levelled against young people who commit suicide after prolonged abuse by bullies.

 

Amanda Todd was a child, one who came to believe that life had no purpose and that the only way out was through death because she was stalked, verbally and physically abused, harassed and made to feel she had no sanctuary and would never escape the barrage of abuse. Most adults would have an extremely difficult time making it through a similar situation. So why are we still surprised when bullied children reach the point of suicide?

 

Aermis Kolke, a 13-year-old from Estevan, Sask., killed herself in April, 2011, as a result of intense bullying. Mitchell Wilson, an 11-year-old with muscular dystrophy from Pickering, Ont., committed suicide in September, 2011, months after being physically attacked by bullies. Marjorie Raymond, a 15-year-old Quebec girl, killed herself in November, 2011, after being tormented by bullies.

Amanda Todd’s name is now added to the list. And chances are, there will be others after her.

In coming days, there will be talk of the need for anti-bullying education, awareness programs and legislation. But 20 years after my experience with bullying began at St. Bernadette school in Sault Ste. Marie, Ont., it occurs to me that this isn’t an issue that can be legislated away. Perhaps the solution rests much closer to home.

 

When I was in the schoolyard being mocked and taunted, all of my classmates took part, forming a circle around me. Years later, one of them apologized for her involvement. She told me she didn’t speak up at the time because she was too afraid of what might happen to her.

 

When my mother had to call the school and explain that her daughter, who loved learning, was too agitated and upset from the previous day’s episode to get out of bed, the secretary said she would list me as being sick. My mother insisted she write down the real reason: I was bullied.

 

When I was surrounded in science class by a cluster of classmates who disrupted the lesson by shouting obscene insults at me, the teacher never intervened.

 

Everyone gets upset when they learn a child has killed themselves because of being bullied. But why do we allow things to reach that desperate point?

 

In every instance, there are people who know when someone is being targeted and abused by a bully. But how do we respond?

 

When our children tell us about a classmate who is being picked on, do we tell them to rise to his or her defence? Do we teach our children not to laugh at the expense of others? When a co-worker is being singled out and bullied in the workplace, do we simply avert our eyes?

 

Are we going to tell our children to stand up and do the right thing, or to watch in silence?

How do we have a hope against bullying if so many of us are complicit bystanders?

 

To the young people who are going through this right now, allow me to share some advice I wish I could go back and tell 12-year-old me: It does get better. Your peers may spew insults and make you feel worthless, but you are not. You will go on and persevere because, even though it might not feel like it when you’re in the eye of the storm, you are strong. And you will be a better person for it, someone who is filled with empathy, humility, generosity and kindness. One day, you will no longer wake up filled with dread and anxiety. You will go on to have adventures, find love and acceptance, and be thankful for every day that you are alive. Hold on to that hope, and never let it go.

 

And to everyone else: It’s time to recognize bullying is not about a headline or an isolated incident or a tragedy you heard on the news. It is a problem that affects all of us. There are bullies. There are victims. And there is everyone else watching from the sidelines. It’s time for us to take a long look in the mirror. It’s time to speak up, say something, and refuse to be the complicit bystander.

Great Leaders Decide With Their Guts, Not Just Their Brains (By Mark C. Crowley)

The limbic centre of our brain is ancient; it is the repository for both genetic memory (fear the dark, fear snakes) and learned experiences.  The limbic system allows us to react to stimuli by pulling out related memories from the hypothalamus and filtering them through the amygdala, centre for reactive emotions.  If you had a bad experience with a tattooed man in your past and meet someone new with tattoos, it's this process that will give you a negative bias.  It's an incredibly useful tool, but it doesn't allow us to overcome reactive urges - that's where the neocortex comes in.

 

The neocortex permits us to apply executive function, overriding instinct, take risks, innovate.  This is the part of our noggin that humans have to a larger degree than other species and has allowed for social development, science, etc. 

 

The best decisions, of course, are made through a balanced approach of reaction and foresight.  It's a tricky line to walk, but one we can do when we do it consciously.

 

Great Leaders Decide With Their Guts, Not Just Their Brains

Posted on October 14, 2012 by Mark C. Crowley

 

“Dig up all the information you can, then go with your instincts. We all have a certain intuition, and the older we get, the more we trust it… I use my intellect to inform my instinct. Then I use my instinct to test all this data. ‘Hey, instinct, does this sound right? Does it smell right, feel right, fit right?

General Colin Powell

 

 

The idea of using intuition when making important decisions is greatly frowned upon in business.

We’ve been taught that conscious reasoning alone is the sure-fire way of choosing the best course of action, and that our intuition is impulsive and inherently misguiding. Stand up in a meeting and say, “I feel this is the right decision even though the financials don’t fully back me up,“ and expect an immediate backlash.

 

While we’ve all learned to be publicly dismissive about intuition, I’m absolutely certain you can quickly recall an experience when an inner voice steered you away from a disastrous outcome. Is it logical that this voice doesn’t also speak up when workplace dilemmas need resolution? Is that inner guidance untrustworthy in our jobs but fully reliable in our personal lives?

 

I’m guessing you have a hunch on the answers to both these questions, but if your mind isn’t yet fully able to reconcile the conflict, I have good news. Science is coming to your aid.

 

According to Dr. Rollin McCraty, Director of Research at the Institute of HeartMath, human intuition – flashes of insight that can’t be judged by reasoning – is real. More importantly, there’s compelling new research that proves leaders who act on their intuition achieve greater success.

 

Through the research performed by HeartMath and other organizations, we now know there are three unique types of intuition:

 

(1) Implicit Knowledge: We learn something and forget we learned it. While we’re taking a shower or are out for a run, it sneaks up from our unconscious into our conscious. Voila, the insight we need in the moment pops into our heads. About 95% of what’s written about intuition relates to “implicit knowledge.”

 

(2) Energetic Sensitivity: Our nervous system literally is sensitive to environmental signals (it’s like a big antenna). Psychologist, Gary Klein, tells the story of a team of fire fighters that entered a house where the kitchen was ablaze. While hosing down the fire, the commander suddenly heard himself yell, “Let’s get out of here!” without knowing why. The kitchen floor collapsed immediately after– but not before all firefighters escaped. Only after the experience did the captain recall the impressions that prompted his “sixth sense of danger.” The fire had gotten unusually hot and quiet, and his intuition discerned it.

 

(3) Non-Local Intuition: “Everyone has an experience of it,” says McCraty. “You drive down a road you travel all the time and have the sudden impulse to slow down. As you round the corner, you see a small child in the street or an accident that just has happened. In situations like these, the heart senses the nature of events ahead of time, before they actually occur…. This intuition stuff about unknown future events that you cannot explain through implicit learning is nevertheless real. The central core of every religion on the planet is the heart is our primary access point to wisdom and courage. Science is now supporting what’s always been believed.”

 

For many years, the Australian Graduate School Of Entrepreneurship has been studying repeat entrepreneurs, people with long careers who’ve built businesses multiple times with great success.

In looking for common characteristics, the researchers discovered something amazing – and especially useful for business leaders. 80% of the entrepreneurs acknowledged relying on their intuition when making important decisions. When weighing their options, in other words, they relied on their cognitive capacities and intuitive capacities – heart and mind.

 

In his recent book, Onward, Starbucks CEO and hugely successful entrepreneur, Howard Schultz, admits to routinely consulting his intuition and to taking frequent action on the guidance it gives him. Overruling financial analysis that strongly panned both these ideas, Schultz chose to remove a very popular breakfast item from the menu and to close all Starbucks’ stores for three hours of employee training. Had he relied on his mind alone to guide these actions, he never would have pursued them. Perhaps not coincidentally, Starbucks’ stock is up 400% over the past decade while the S & P 500 average return is a mere 60%.

 

As Daniel Kahneman points out in Thinking Fast And Slow, making important decisions tied to intuition alone can prove disastrous. But what science now has proved is that we have two sources of human intelligence, and letting them both have a say is a very wise move.

WWJD in 140 Characters?

“Jesus wouldn’t get 43 seconds if he came back today,” said Lessenberry. “And it’s just plain whack to expect anyone to say something profound about the world economy in that amount of time.”
 

 I disagree whole-heartedly.   Now more than ever profound would sell, if someone came forth with something profound to say.   Jesus, or any messianic figure, ties into universal truths and brings them back into crystal clarity at a time where survival has become the focus rather than substance.   Like today, oddly enough.

Messages like that always resonate because they don't need to be hammered into the collective consciousness - they're already there.   We just need to be reminded of them.

IR #4: The Conscious Revolution

 

Why is this related to inequality? Because the burden of this decline will fall on the bulk of the population. The continuing prosperity of the wealthiest, on the other hand, will be magnified.

 

For almost two centuries, today’s high-income countries enjoyed waves of innovation that made them both far more prosperous than before and far more powerful than everybody else. This was the world of the American dream and American exceptionalism. Now innovation is slow and economic catch-up fast. The elites of the high-income countries quite like this new world. The rest of their population like it vastly less. Get used to this. It will not change.

 

 

I think Martin Wolf's on to something with his assessment, but I think he needs to take it a little bit further down the path.  Previous industrial revolutions have built the Western World we now live in.  As with all foundations, though, when the house-keeping isn't kept, cracks start to form and new growth starts to take over.

 

Innovation isn't dead, because it isn't as tied to our current capitalist model of economics as we think.  In fact, our understanding of how innovation really works is just now starting to bleed into our collective consciousness.

 

We are likely first-hand witnesses to the end of an era.  That also means we get to be actors in the ushering in of a new one.  Oh, the thinks we can think, eh?  Welcome to the Conscious Revolution.

 

The Outing of Reddit's Violentacr​ez, The Biggest Troll on the Web

 

 

He asked a number of times if there was anything he could do to keep me from outing him. He offered to act as a mole for me, to be my "sockpuppet" on Reddit. "I'm like the spy who's found out," he said. "I'll do anything. If you want me to stop posting, delete whatever I posted, whatever. I am at your mercy because I really can't think of anything worse that could possibly happen. It's not like I do anything illegal."

 

I told him it wasn't my place to tell him what to do, that I was just reporting on what he'd already done,

 

Everyone is always worried that their ability to spout off irresponsibility about whatever is challenged when anonymity is breached.  It's not.  Free speech isn't the issue - responsibility of speech is.  What you post on line, you own.  If you aren't prepared to live personally with the consequences to your friends, family and employment, think through how much pain your could be causing for another family out there with senseless posts or cruel pictures.  It could be a family like Amanda Todds' that you're hurting.  Don't fight for the right to act without consequence, because such a right does not exist.  Focus on building personal responsibility, on consciousness instead.

 

Free speech is out there in dozens of mutating forms and always will be.  In fact, it's never been easier for average folk to watch the watchers.  That's not what's bugging folk like Violentacrez - it's the notion of accountability.  It's a funny thing how, with their own reputations on the line, people tend to be a bit more considerate of each other.  When you expose yourself to such a degree, you'll find that eventually, the truth will set you free.

A Comprehensive Mental Health Strategy: The Liberal Party Game Changer

"If the Liberal Party could develop a comprehensive mental health strategy…I honestly believe it would be a game changer."

I'm inclined to agree with that.  Harper has had his chance, with lots of encouragement, too - perhaps it's up to someone else to carry this torch forward.