I just feel like I can't come back from this. That my life is over

 

"I'm in debt. I'm having a hard time paying my bills. I can't even get a job in fast food because they tell me I'm overqualified. I just feel like I can't come back from this. That my life is over," she told me.

 

 

Why do people commit suicide?

 

Whether we say it out loud or not, what we often feel is that "they" were too weak or too selfish.

 

Interestingly enough, we say the same thing about people who die of illnesses like cancer - the lost the fight, etc.  Yes when we talk about physical illness, it's okay; the struggle itself was noble and in the end, the odds were always in the diseases favour.

 

When it comes to mental illness, though, that doesn't apply.  It's a willpower thing and when people commit suicide, it's like the deceased didn't try hard enough.  Mind over matter, right?

 

Hate to break it to you, folks, but mind is matter.  Our minds are the product of neurochemistry in our noggins.  Why do drunk people have bad judgment?  It's biology.  Why are tired people cranky, or people on crack prone to flyering cars at high speeds?  It's because the minds of those individuals are impaired by substances that have physical impacts.

 

Abuse, poverty, work stress or no work at all - these all work on the system like a toxin, little doses of lead consumed every day that change physiology.  Workplace-accrued depression is the same as workplace-accrued carpal tunnel syndrome - the environment and work done has an impact.

 

We can keep telling people to "get over" mental illnesses and grieving (or dismissing) their deaths, but the truth is this medical oversight is costing us more than lives - it's costing us billions. 

 

And it's getting worse.  More and more pressure is being placed on people less able to say no or stand for themselves, increasing the likelihood of conditions like depression or anxiety setting in.

 

This has a negative impact on productivity and innovation.  Go ahead and disbelieve it - blame your staff for their own woes, suggest they aren't tough enough and keep the pressure on.  It'll do wonders for your business and your own blood pressure.

 

They can't "get over it" any more than you can ignore the problem forever.  Like any illness, the best course of action is to address it early, before it explodes.

 

That's something only we can do through culture change and more than a bit of introspection.

 

We can come back from this.  But we're losing time.

Are We There Yet?

 

Hirji said big employers with resources, such as RBC, should take the lead in developing mentorship and networking opportunities so that youth can learn the skills they need to start their careers.

 

Funny enough, The Open Community primarily consists of private sector and public sector folk discussing the same problem from the other end.

 

Meanwhile, there are youth out there in NIAs and every community with similar, big-picture ambitions but no training, access or even sense of what can be done should they get those things.

 

Get informed.

 

Get engaged.

 

Make a difference.

 

It's what happens when worlds collide, when diversity meets and understanding is developed.

 

Everyone wants it.  Everyone is working towards it. 

 

We can get there faster, if we switch the focus from "moving forward together" towards "leaving no one behind."

 

I'm hopeful.

 

Goldstein on Political Lip Service

The problem is governments around the world, in order to be seen as doing something about Russia, are making foolish decisions that undermine the economic interests of their own citizens.

Exactly.  The economic interests have to be preserved, at all costs, none of this other nonsense.

Something we can do in good conscience, n'est ce pas?

Oh wait, he was talking about something else.  My bad.

The Buring Platform: Culture Change in Canadian Politics

The Prime Minister may be doing the best he can with the tools he has, and given the political context in which he's operating.

Very prescient statement from Den Tandt.  Does Harper think his approach is the right one for society on the whole?  Probably.  Is it?  No.  We're seeing a decline in civility, in our international reputation, in the cohesion of our union and the stability of our society as a result.

But none of that matters when you're putting the win before the big picture.

Meanwhile, how many MPs feel like they're not in control and don't even know who they work for?  The partisan culture inside our Legislatures is increasingly toxic, but that's nothing compared to the response politicians get from every-day citizens.

Which is why, from top to bottom, we have to stop looking for grievances, scapegoats or individual wins.

It's not any one man who's the problem .  It's our political culture that needs to change, and that can't happen from the inside alone.

You can't have Open Government without a Responsible Society.

Stilettos on the Ground

ISIS does very bad things.  They are terrorists who behead innocents in Youtube videos.  They threaten, they swagger, they demand recognition as tough asses.

They frame themselves as an Islamic tribe and may even at some level believe they are preparing a zombie shelter to weather the apocalypse.

At the same time, though, there's a lot of misogyny and abuse that happens under their watch.  Like any men with superiority fantasies and underlying fear of women, they oppress, rape, threaten and claim justification for abusing women.

If the rest of the world were to turn away, this would not change.

As the world considers what to do about ISIS and focuses on the international threat stuff, it's worthwhile to keep this stuff in mind.

Beating another man is a way for ISIS boys to prove how tough they are.  Being beaten by women, though, must be a terrifying concept.  It goes against everything they've built their internal narrative around.

Picture every threat issued by ISIS responded to by women commanders with a subtle hint of scolding the unruly schoolboy.  Picture any armed response led by tough, confident and well-trained women.  Picture support networks externally, but also psy-ops directed internally to ISIS focused on the message of female empowerment as the historical solution to the four horsemen.

It has the virtue of being true.

We've never seen a strategy of this sort, before.  As such, it's a risky gambit, one the tough guys who tend to run all things military would have a hard time swallowing.  Isn't it safer to stick with what we know works?

Exactly.  

The Contact Sport Called Society

Politics is a contact sport, we're told.  Gotta be tough and prepared to take hits if you want to get ahead.

Fair enough.  This is why all the War Room stuff enters into the equation - if you want to get ahead in a contact sport (with no referee) you should look to the most aggressive contact sport there is for inspiration, right?

That would be war.

At the same time, we have this whole "you gotta be tough on your own" thing.  Pressure roles downhill for the people without access and power to carry more than their weight to get ahead - they have to sell hard, they have to learn more, they have to push, push, push to earn a seat the social table along with the well-to-do.

Except that isn't how war works, nor sports in general.  Missing in this notion of "hunt what you kill" and "survival of the fittest" is the realization that activities ranging from American football to war are team sports. 

Activity is coordinated, resources shared.  Even Canada is offering transport ships to help in the Ukraine, and we're supposedly the world leaders in stand-on-your-own-two-feet ness.

More than that, even, is that in war and sports, there is nothing more important than the maintenance of morale.

When your troops falter, the entire effort fails.  This is why War Room politics (and war) spends so much time trying to crush the morale of its foes; divide and conquer, etc.  You're on your own, they will tell us - you can't trust your neighbours.  Or, they'll tell us that only they can set the ship aright, the implication being that such is beyond our own ability.

If we're all on our own, then the weak fall.  If you aren't physically or psychologically up to the challenge of living in the war zone of life, then you're of no use to the gene pool - be gone.

Thing is, life throws it's curve balls.  The toughest soldier can lose a limb in combat, or suffer the invisible slings and arrows of psychological injury.  Should they be left behind?

Doing so sends a chilling message to the entire force - that there is no us, that you are not protected, that you're on your own.

If that's the case, though - what are we fighting for?  Our time would be better spent looking to ourselves because, you know, there's no such thing as society.

And the whole divides, except for those who stick together.  They have the advantage and will be damned sure to press it.

Look at ISIS - they feel their foes are weak and can be intimidated.  Look at Russia - they know their enemies are too focused on internal polls and economic wins to united against the threat if neo-imperialism.

But then look even bigger than that.  It just so happens there is a bigger threat out there that instills fear, saps morale and doesn't target weak links, but everyone, indiscriminately.

Hurricanes.  Typhoons.  Earthquakes, ice storms, floods - they impact everyone.  Both pauper and king can be carried away by the storm; no riches nor position is enough to ground you against a strong wind.

In every severe weather event, something happens.  

People come together, as if it's naturally instinctive to do so.  We don't turn into Lord of the Flies - not unless the wake of the storm remains unadressed for extended periods of time and there is no leadership to rally around.

We share food and shelter, pool our labour, care for each other's wounded and work, collaboratively, to keep morale high.

Why?  It's easy - because we know that our best chance at weathering the storm is by working together.

It's that - what we, as individuals, can contribute to the whole - that matters most.  It's when we put the good of the whole first that we ensure no back is unwatched.  

And that's how we win.

The Little Red Book

Education should teach you how to find out about the things you need to know and give you the opportunity of developing your own particular talents and interests to the full.  The trouble is that few people really know how to do this.  Those who do know, or at least have some good ideas, are not the people who actually control the education system.  The system is controlled by the people who have money, and directly or indirectly these people decide what you should be taught and how.

Education has never been strictly an in-classroom thing, nor an inhouse thing.  Parents who think their kids won't learn elsewhere what they don't learn at home are mistaken.  Those who manage to instill enough fear into their children to keep their eyes closed aren't helping them - those children will be ill-equipped to live in an increasingly dynamic world.

This isn't in the best interests of our youth.  It's not in the best interests of the rest of society, either - by stifling our youth or forcing a counter-culture, we are cutting them off from our necessary shared solutions.

To teach is to empower.  To fully empower, you have to be ready to let go.  That doesn't mean throwing them into the deep-end and walking away; that's what sea turtles do.

The role of parents and leaders is to give their charges the tools they need to succeed, help them master their craft and then get out of the way.  At that point, what is to come is no longer in your hands; if you're done your job well, you need not worry.  You just need to let it go.

If you're can't, too bad - there always, always comes a point where you can't hold it back anymore.  

Time and tide, love.