Presence, Bullying, PTSD and the Resiliency Solution

 

Executive presence is not the same as being born with blond hair, dark eyes, or long arms. Presence involves skills, traits, habits, and attitudes developed over time. So if these tip-offs sound an alarm, understand that you CAN make changes to create a stronger impression, expand your influence, and increase your credibility.

 

Look at Dianna Booher's list of traits common to people who "lack presence":

 

1. Others often interrupt you as you speak.
2. Your recommendations carry little weight with decision makers—or even your friends.
3. You often hear, “I’m not following your point. Would you repeat that.”
4. Your stories seem to “fall flat” and have no impact during formal presentations.
5. You often lose emotional control during meetings, either displaying anger or withdrawing.
6. You have difficulty facilitating discussions among strong personalities.
7. In a group, you feel more comfortable standing off to the side than in the center of activities.
8. Team members often make decisions on important issues without asking for your input.
9. When others ask questions or seek your opinion, you have difficulty thinking on your feet to respond clearly, concisely, and completely. You typically feel that you need a “re-do.”
10. Others point out inconsistencies in your behavior. What you say you value and believe doesn’t match what you actually do. You don’t demonstrate the “courage of your convictions” to act. Consequently, you seem irresponsible or unpredictable to others.

Then, ask yourself what kinds of people tend to be targeted for bullying and ask yourself, why?

 

Then, look at the sorts of behaviours that stem from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and the consequences that stem from it.

 

Lastly, dig into Positive Psychology and the Resiliency Solution.  If the sorts of behaviour that encourage bullying can be overcome and if the inclination to bully those who "lack presence" can be trained against, what kind of difference would it make to include educaiton that covers this kind of thing in our schools?

 

We're already starting to do it through Social Emotional Learning and programs like Ontario Shores' mental health curriculum.

 

We can make the difference - not be reacting to bullying, but proactively educating and training individuals against it, like a bullying innoculation. 

 

It's a social win, a political win and a fiscal win, just waiting for someone to take the lead.