Stephanie Zubcic PhD
That's taken from my Twitter feed. Stephanie and I (who don't know each other personally, but that's the way social media rolls) had just started following each other. I saw a tweet from her about "this too shall pass" and answered, starting the thread.
Stephanie's answer got me thinking about my own experiences with cancer; I lost an aunt to lung cancer and my father-in-law to non-Hodgkins lymphoma. Both were terrible experiences for the individual to go through but they were hell on the family, too. I still remember my grandfather, a Holocaust survivor, watching his daughter waste away - hard enough as it was, but her physical condition kept giving him flashbacks to Buchenwald. How he found the strength to keep going and holding her hand, I'll never know.
My father-in-law wasted away over years; there were moments of crisis, uncertainty, but the end was never in doubt. The ten years of tribulations my wife's family went through took a tremendous toll on all of them, impacting their lives in ways they aren't always conscious of. When I go through any trial - for instance, my recent run-in with an ignorant driver - my wife goes into "it's all unravelling" mode. There's no feeling worse than knowing you are causing distress for someone else.
So, I sympathize with Stephanie. I sympathize with the family of Tori Stafford, with Lisa Raitt, and with all the families of everyone going through challenges personal, professional or physical. The families are victims just as much as the person directly impacted. It's not enough for us to tell these people to "tough it through" or "stay strong" or at worst, "suck it up;" there's a big difference between surviving an experience and learning to live again after.
Experiences of hardship will shape you, one way or the other, but it's the love and support of others that will help you move forward.
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