Donald Trump Open Letter to American Muslims

"Trump’s recent proposition to impose “a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States until our country’s representatives can figure out what is going on,” is based on research he claims shows that “there is great hatred towards Americans by large segments of the Muslim population.”

Dear American Muslims,

We don't actually count you as Americans. In fact, we think you're all terrorists, convening in your mosques to plot the overthrow of America under the secret instruction of your secret Muslim President.  Although a couple of you are, I assume, good people.

We know you have bombs and plan to blow up real Americans with them.

Which is why we real Americans need guns, and need to keep an eye on you, and why you can't aggregate, or dress how you like, or have any of the other freedoms real Americans enjoy because, you know, they're enshrined in our constitution.

You and the Mexican people, speaking Mexican and eating tacos. Rapists and thieves, all of them. Except those who aren't, but that's like, a minority.

So yeah - real Americans like me can't figure out why fake Americans like you hate us, so you're on notice.

Hugs and Kittens,

The Real Donald Trump