It's not an easy position Daniel Dale has been put in.
For doing his job, professionally, he's been threatened, insulted and now, accused of being a paedophile. As Dale himself states, that's the sort of over-the-top association that does not go away; it's like calling a teenage girl a whore.
The Fords can play the victim card all they want, but it is clear who the aggressors are, here - Doug and Rob. There's no surprise in this; they have an established record of being bullies. When they get caught or called out for it, they will deny the act of bullying, suggest it was deserved or exaggerated and always try to spin blame away from themselves and towards the person they bullied.
And then they plan revenge.
Dale had it coming, said Rob Ford.
I have been on the receiving end of bullying in different forms all my life; schoolyard thugs who would physically assault me, passive-aggressive bosses who would find ways to blame me for their oversights and of course, the large swath of political players for whom intimidation is a legitimate technique for forcing actions.
Here are some lessons I've learned about bullying over the years:
1) When you're on the receiving end, it can feel like the bully is functionally fixed on making you and only you miserable. That's rarely the case. As we see with the Fords, bullies treat any number of people in the same, demeaning way.
Bullies act in an entitled, aggressive manner; the world is their sandbox and anything within it is theirs by right. They're the Alpha Male (or female) - they get to eat the whole cake, it's you who should have learned how to bake. There's something distinctly colonial about bullies in the way they assert themselves, whether it's in a schoolyard or at City Council. We all know how colonialism turns out.
2) Bullies feel validated by fear. It's a sad truism that bullies in one setting are often victims in another, possibly the home; they will bully in turn as a way to feel bigger than someone, because someone else makes them feel so small. They want you to be afraid, they want that power trip that comes from seeing people cower when they walk by.
3) Bullying is intellectual laziness. This ties in to the fear thing. If you can't win an argument, if you don't have the capacity to go toe-to-toe in the realm of ideas or if you you're even weak at activities like, say, pro-social interaction or doing your homework (or reading your briefing material), getting aggressive is a way to change the channel and ignore your own failings.
The Fords have a lot of failings they're actively choosing not to address - they get more aggressive the more these sins of action and omission pile up. The more time and energy you put in to marginalizing and stigmatizing your opponents, the less faith you have in the strength of your argument.
4) Sympathy doesn't result in action. This is one of those counter-intuitive things that is frustrating in the extreme, but true none the less. People feel bad for victims of bullying, but particularly when they're peers, it takes a monumental cognitive leap to go from willing spectator (because we all naturally want to be on the winning side) to disturbed witness to advocate to interventionist. Playing the sympathy card is the emotionally correct step to take and, frankly, should be the socially correct card to play, but we're limbic animals first and social creatures second - catalyzing action has to appeal to more reactive instincts.
5) The best way to stop a bully is to stop being a victim. This is one of those easy tropes people fall into - just fight back, and the problem goes away. That's not always the case and not everyone is able to fight back. Of course, you don't always need to fight fire with fire - in fact, fighting fire with water is a much more effective strategy (and causes less collateral damage, too).
I am not, by nature, an aggressive person; I enjoy solving problems, not picking fights (which has led to some interesting observations about politics, but that's a different topic altogether). But bullying is about survival of the fittest; the point is to prove one's dominance by showing how tough one can be (with an easy target) and simply outlasting the competition.
The worst bullying I ever experienced in my life was from this kid in highschool who was built like a rhino; he wasn't particularly smart, but he was massive and used his size to his advantage. In retrospect, I think he had a very difficult life, and in some was as much trouble fitting in at school as I had. At the time, though, what mattered was that whenever he would see me, this kid would slam my head into a locker, punch me from behind or generally verbally abuse and gesture aggressively at me - in much the same was as the Fords do with Dale.
People who know me well will tell you I have an enormous capacity for patience and what often seems like an endless well of endurance, but in truth I have my limits. I remember clearly the day that the big bully on the block pushed me past mine; I was walking in to science class and he'd said something offencive and threatening. In a black mood and feeling an urge to be the winner, for once, I said something smart and sarcastic back. I turned to go in the door, but was nearly floored by a massive round-house punch to the side of my head, from behind.
Everyone around me expected tears, running away, something other than what happened next.
I turned around with what has since become known as my "angry face" on and looked the kid square in the eye. I have a rather intense gaze, and it was turned squarely on those two beady eyes buried in the fleshy face of my aggressor.
"You're going to wish you hadn't done that," I said.
With an angry yet controlled voice, I continued into the classroom and told the teacher, in a voice loud enough to be heard by everyone in the room, that I had just been assaulted from behind by a coward and would be proceeding to the principal's office to make damned sure justice was served. It was not what anyone expected - it was instantly clear that despite where the strength lay, despite the culture of teachers putting the class first, the kids second, I was in control of the situation and would not be denied.
As I left the room, the bully tried to apologize, said it was a mistake, he didn't mean it. He was, suddenly, afraid of consequence. This was the kind of thing Rob Ford has said when he's been called out for misbehaviour. Again, I looked the bully in the eye and spoke with a hardened voice: "a little late for that now, isn't it?"
The kid got suspended, which wasn't unusual - it was not a punishment to him. The thing that changed his behaviour was a clear understanding that he'd crossed my line and that there was no longer anything he could do, not even a sneak-attack from behind, that would make me cower. He'd lost, I'd won.
From that point on he never bullied me, nor would dare to bully anyone else if he thought I'd learn about it - for he knew there was someone out there who was smaller but stronger than he was, unafraid to take him down in the name of justice.
Which brings us back around to point #1 - bullies have many victims; the victims will come and go, be it in the schoolyard or in the political arena. It's the bullies that have staying power, unless someone without power finds the strength to take them down. When they do so, though, these newly-christened advocates for social justice find themselves mighty; they gain both the power and the responsibility to stop the victimization of others.
It's a David and Goliath kind of thing, or perhaps the Devil and Daniel Webster. Someone has to take the risk and champion the cause but when they do, they'll find that's just what people have been waiting for someone to do and will join in.
See, much of Ford Nation feels like they've been bullied and neglected by the System themselves - and they're not entirely wrong. In their minds, Rob Ford is indeed sticking up for the little guy, walking among them, taking them seriously. The Mayor, stripped of his power by mean-spirited elites is still on their side, and that's what matters.
And it's why Rob Ford could very easily become Mayor again. Using bully-tactics and insulting his base, throwing schoolyard insults at the man himself will only reinforce the loyalty of Ford Nation to their advocate.
If you think Ford's behaviour is over-the-top now, what do you think it'll be like if and when he has a fresh mandate from a majority of voters? At this point in the game, who do you think he'll recruit to work on his campaign? What tactics will he use to get Council to support his ill-conceived approaches to complex societal problems?
I completely respect Daniel Dale's position - he has no interest in the limelight, he has a job t do and just wants to do it well. The chest-thumping and public performance side isn't his thing; if he sues the Fords, he's simply feeding their egos and giving them more fuel for their fire of social indignation. He ends up being a focal point, which he doesn't want.
But he's not the only victim here, and many of those who are on the receiving end of Ford's abuse don't have the voice that he does. There is no one on the landscape right now better positioned to put those bullies in their place and that if Dale doesn't do it, the Fords might not be stopped until it's too late.
He's in the spotlight already, with all sorts of unwarranted baggage slung around his neck. People looking to validate Ford may very well see Dale as the embodiment of their villain. But look at some of Ford's core support; these are people who have been abused by the System, seen gangs threaten their communities and pressure their children into destructive lifestyles. How many parents want their children to grow up to be the kinds of crooks Ford enjoys the company of? How many kids aspire to be shot to death because the only push and pull in their lives is towards violence and crime?
They don't like bullies, either. Part of the reason they like Ford is that he's bullying the bullies. Like many, they aren't spending time thinking about the inherent danger in this.
They don't like bullies, either. Part of the reason they like Ford is that he's bullying the bullies. Like many, they aren't spending time thinking about the inherent danger in this.
Ford is not their champion, he's part of their problem. Unfortunately there's no one else for them to turn to.
But it doesn't have to be that way. The only way the cycle gets broken is for someone to break it - that takes leadership.
The choice is yours, Daniel Dale - yours alone.
The choice is yours, Daniel Dale - yours alone.
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