Linking Sex, Work and Success

 

 

 

When it comes to human evolution, it's likely that males who overestimated their appeal to females and pursued them even at the risk of being rebuffed were more likely to reproduce and pass this trait to their genetic heirs, the researchers suggested.

 

So we've heard that women need to complain and golf more to get ahead; here's the other side of that equation.

 

Let's say you have a quietly competent woman who is damned good at her job and probably capable of doing more and as such, generating more revenue for her boss.  As she's not arrogant, however, it's always in her head that she should be doing more; as such, she's not boastful, but just keeps improving her performance.

 

Meanwhile, she has a male colleague who is high confident and thinks more of his value than it's actual worth - and isn't afraid to tell the same to anyone.  He is annoyed that he's not getting recognized for his awesomeness and demands more, cornering the boss on the links, at the coffee machine, whatever.

 

This guy does a great job of selling his value to the boss, who rewards him in turn.  In whatever new positions he gets, this confident guy is quick to claim credit and even quicker to defer blame, but because he's so utterly convinced in his own abilities, those susceptible to doubt find it hard to question him.

 

How many delusionally confident men do we have mucking things up in positions of power?  How many quietly capable women getting things done but not tooting their own horns?

 

Something to think about. 

When it comes to human evolution, it's likely that males who overestimated their appeal to females and pursued them even at the risk of being rebuffed were more likely to reproduce and pass this trait to their genetic heirs, the researchers suggested.

Thoughtful Sex

Outward circumstances or conditions do not determine what our lives become nearly as much as the thoughts that dominate our minds and the people we surround ourselves with.

 

After reading that, watch this Ted Talk on sexual desire and long-term relationships.

 

Then, consider Matt Ridley's notion of Ideas Having Sex - innovation as social procreation, as it were.

 

Finally, read Rabbi Brad Hirschfield's piece on the desire for connectivity leading to pilgrimage, religion and as a byproduct, civilization.

 

Does desire bring people together in an equitable way?  Not really.  Desire, be it for power, for resources, for sexual gratification brings with it the need for domination.  It's why a balanced "free market", otherwise known as "selection of the fittest", doesn't work in an interdependent social context, which we undeniably are (unless you are able to make your own clothes, grow your own food and sustain your own public infrastructure, which would be quite a feat).

 

Conversely, responsibility - the apparent opposite of desire - is about what you give back, not what you receive.  When people collaborate in an understanding, trustful way (this can be a married couple, a company of soldiers or an office team) they create something that has greater reach through space and time than can an individual. 

 

Who do we choose to surround ourselves with?  Most of the time, those choices are out of our hands; we can mistrust the Other and live in desirous suspicion, or we can love our neighbours - a theme repeated throughout world religions.

 

Which makes me think of the Sufi maxim - "God is great, there is nothing but God, therefore I am God."  Which is an ecstatic thought that can occur to people having dopamanic manias, pushing their pre-frontal cortexes beyond normal, beyond even individual safety.

 

But society isn't about the individual - it's about the social whole, a new system that's greater than the sum of its parts.  You can't sustain a system if its components aren't properly maintained or pushed too far past their limits, which is what's happening in our society.  At a point of increased tension, polarization and social friction, we're beginning to turn towards leaders who know how to serve as bridges, not battering rams, looking to see what places they can bring us to.

 

It's all fun stuff to think about - and share.